A Tribute to Lord Shiva......

Today is Maha Shivratri! On this day, I must tell you all a small story as to how someone as powerful as Lord Shiva got a dose of my ire and tried his level best to find me a perfect match!! Well, he was hugely successful in doing that, I must admit.......

As goes the belief, that Shivji is the sole distributor of "ideal grooms", like all young girls, I also started worshipping him eversince I joined my B.Tech course in Jadavpur University (JU) as JU is believed to be the "nurturing ground" for "ideal groom" in the shape of Computer Engineer, Electronincs Engineer, Electrical Engineer and so on.......

I stayed there for three years and moved to Delhi to pursue my career without getting hitched by anyone but my faith was unshakable that He must be having someone better waiting for me in the big city of Delhi .....I continued worshipping him with more dedication keeping fast for full day(unimaginable as I can not tolerate hunger for more than 10 seconds) and standing in queue for hours to offer him all those sacred stuff ( unbelievable knowing my patience level)!!

Almost 6 yeas passed after I got down to New Delhi railway station from Purva Express on an August morning and i could not even manage a decent affair with anyone in the city (not that I didnt try, but failed miserably as I was too snobbish to choose someone to strike an affair with below the level of a Chartered Accountant)! Oh, by the way, I was by then a qualified Chartered Accountant and was practising!!

All these years, I did not stop believing neither in the power nor fair treatment ability of mighty Shiva and I continued making a trip to the nearby Shiv temple on this day particularly and quite frequently.....to remind him that I was still waiting in the queue for an ideal match.

In the 7th year, on the day of Shiv Ratri, I just couldnot hold my tears and grudges that I had been waiting for too long and labelled him as incompetent, powerless and unfair (by that time so many of my friends got married without even keeping fast on Shivratri) and I decided not to visit him this year.....

In the evening when I came back to my rented apartment from office, the elderly landlord asked me as a matter of fact," Which temple did you go today to offer prayer to Shiva?". To his astonishment, my answer was a blunt,"nowhere Uncle. There is no point in worshipping someone for something who actually does not have any power at all. I am done with it after so many years."

My landlord and landlady were a very gentle and sweet old couple and traeted me always as one in the family.....they immediately sat down with me over a cup of tea to convinced me to visit the temple next day early morning and I did quite reluctantly ....

While going to the temple, I bought everything that was part of the ritual and instead of buying a green coconut, I bought a big, round bael with solid surface ( a fruit which is also Shiva's favorite, i dont know why). I just threw all those flowers on Him without even a hint of devotion and cracked the bael on his head ( literally ) instead of keeping it at His feet just to make Him realise my level of frustration.I left the temple without even bowing my head to Him and with a threatning," If you do not sort this issue within this year, I will never visit you in my life, forget about worshipping."

In that very year, in June 1999, I met my soulmate quite unexpectedly and we got married next May. Well, journey from June 1999 to May, 2000, was not as normal as it may seem as I had to gather all strength and courage to ask him," Will You marry me, please?" as I was neck deep in love after the third meeting. Now whenever I narrate the incident to anyone, the reactions vary from," OMG, how could u do that? Proposing a boy? Adventurous!" or "Really? so interesting! you must be kidding!" or " So what was his reaction?".......

In retrospect, whenever i think of those few months and the hilarious, courageous, one - sentence adventure, I think Lord Shiva gave me the courage or shamelessness or whatever it takes to propose a boy!! After all, His reputation was at stake and He just could not afford to loose an ardent devotee like me... I keep fast and go to see Him every year wherever I am and after the prayer, offer my apology for hitting Him so hard with the bael.

Happy Maha Sivratri to all who have already been lucky and to all who are still waiting in the queue!

Blogging woes.......

When my Misti became a young blogger for her school, I was bursting with pride and emotions! Little did I know that for a mother of two young kids (read rivals!), nothing lasts for more than few fleeting minutes....

Between brother nd sister, Misti is at the receiving end, almost always as Chhutku has unlimited ideas of bothering Misti - sometimes unknowingly but most of the time, with the purpose of irritationg her! When a fight is inevitable, Chhutku wins 'hands down' as he is a stronger opponent than Misti. ....but didn't we hear the age-old proverb - Pen is mightier than the sword?

The first piece on the blog that Misti wrote was 'about my brother' which started with the opening sentence,' My naughty brother....'. As morning shows the day, the opener was good enough hint as to what the rest of the piece might contain! As a kind gesture (or was it a part of her strategy to settle score?), Misti allowed Chhutku to read it but the smile on her face said it all! Chhutku took this with a pinch of salt but couldnot do much as it was her 'personal thing' and had already been approved by the teacher!

So far so good .... but I failed to notice the sign of a storm brewing within Chhutku. He came to me with a visibly distraught expression on his face and complained,"Ma, you also write for your blog but you have never written anything as 'my naughty Chhutku....' and look at Babu! Was it necessary that she had to write on me ? Could not she think of some nice words? Dont I love her?" and the floodgate of tears opened.

Mothers are the best diplomats !

.....and after a long discussion, Misti agreed to edit her writing only to the extent of adding some positive words like 'my amazingly naughty brother....'. Chhutku was by then choked with sobs and acknowledged with lots of hiccups that 'amazing' indeed was a positive word and allowed Misti to go ahead with the rest of the writing! A sigh of relief for me!!

On thursday afternoon, when the kids were busy playing and listening to music, I decided to have a shower. Within minutes of entering into the bathroom, I could hear thumping footsteps followed by loud knock on the door and Misti demanded that I must come out immediately or else she would kill Chhutku! She was outraged that Chhutku stole her password and opened her blog without even seeking her permission! Before I could pacify her, the devil arrived to add salt to Misti's wound,"Babu, we are a family so we dont need permission to see each other's things. Do we Ma? ...and then, I was only checking whether you have again written something 'negative' about me! Remember - Ma told you to write only 'positive' things , if u at all write something on me".

Misti packed a punch," Don't I have anyone else to write about except you? The blog is not for writng about ' naughty brothers' ; dont you have brains to understand that?"

In a state of desparation, I ordered Misti to call up Dubai Police so they could give them a solution - I was too tired to think of some diplomatic answers!!

The innocent devil of mine is very scared of police for unknown reasons and he immediately changed track," Ok Babu, my mistake. I will never do it again. By the way, I opened it for you to write something, just in case.... But I promise you Babu, next year when I will also have my blog, I will write about you first with sentence like 'my crazy sister...' and no positive word" and both went back to their respective activities.

A mother needs to walk on fire and ice and practice makes it as easy as breathing!

Lemonade, sandwiches and some sports,

I was shaken out of my mandatory post-lunch siesta on a particular day when the kids entered home after coming back from school and announced loudly in unison, “Mum, it’s our sports day on Wednesday,” . Before I could gather myself properly on the sofa, the war of words ensued as to which house is going to grab the 1^st spot this time, Emerald or Onyx. The war of words gained momentum to such extent within few minutes that both of them had to use their limbs to win over the other and I had to intervene, “Well, kids, if you are practicing hard, then you have equal chance to win. Now let us decide what am I going to bring to school on that day to snack on during breaks.”

(They were put in different house on my request so that a healthy competition between brother and sister is fostered. In retrospect, I think that was a pretty bad idea actually!).

….and they immediately settled down to decide on “something healthy” list of snack and drink that would keep them energized throughout the day to win the battle. Chhutku went on to suggest “kind of chicken pizza” as according to him ,chicken is protein and gives energy (so Chhutku-ish) and Misti  went diagonally opposite to suggest some” fruit & nutrition bar” in her trade mark tone of a authoritative big sister as her Sports Teacher said so…

The list grew into a full page within minutes and I apprehended another round of verbal and physical series of attacks and counter attacks. During these moments of crisis, I am often compelled to use the ultimate warfare that I have in my stock and I had to announce,” Babies, stop fighting. Let Dadda come back from office and decide.”Their Dad has the ultimate veto power on any issue which we cannot decide upon amicably!

After a long day in office, my husband had to put on the Judge’s cap (a virtual one) to decide on the things that I should carry to school on sports day and Chicken Pizza was the first item to be struck down! Chhutku grumbled endlessly behind the closed doors but the list had already been finalized which included glucose biscuits, fruit slices, fruit juices and lemonade (home made).

Well, this part was still easy but here comes the next part – execution of the decision! “Obviously, Ma is going to come to school with these in a “Fly Emirates” bag,” stated Chhutku very casually.

Was it that simple? Nah!!

So Misti quipped,” Yeah, I know, only if she remembers the day and date.” By now, along with everybody in my family, my kids are also convinced that I am a living example of “forgetfulness”. Chhutku never had complains if ever I missed any Parental Engagement Day as he inherited many traits of mine(forgetful, unorganized, clumsy) but unfortunately for me, Misti is blessed with many traits of her dad (elephant’s memory, methodical, perfect). So she took it upon herself to remind me every day. She prepared a list of items on a A-4 size paper with flashy colors and wrote the day and date in Font size 40 in bold and pasted it right on the Fridge Door. As if, that was not enough, everyday she read out from that paper quite a few times with the hope that it would get etched out in my memory cells before the D-day arrives!

…..and finally the day arrived. Misti gave me the final reminder before boarding the bus and instructed me categorically to bring everything in two sets in two bags so that there was no confusion in the last minute. Nervous as never before, I packed everything as instructed and hopped into a taxi well in advance so that I could reach before the March Past. I took a seat in the front row managing three of my bags (two “Fly Emirates” and my Purse) somehow. The moment Misti spotted me in the audience, came another hailstorm from her, “Ma, got everything? Remember, the yellow-purple bag is mine. Have you got a schedule of the events? Please get one from Mr. Todd otherwise, how would you know where to go? Come back quick, ok?” I ran in vague direction to collect a schedule from Mr. Todd not knowing where he was and somehow, managed one and took good 15 minutes to figure out where the various pits were and how the events had been organized. I froze almost when it was clear that they would be in different pits simultaneously as they are in different class and to make matter worst, the pits were diagonally opposite at any point of time. How could I make myself present in two places at the same time? What if Misti feels thirsty when she was running the sprints? …and Just in case Chhutku feels hungry when he had been lined up for long jump? Brain stopped working, as usual and I took a deep breath!

 By the time, I could decide on my strategy, the announcement came,” Please do not enter the play ground with heels.” Now where do I keep my sandals (my favorite one)? Exhausted with so many ifs and buts, I dumped it in one corner of the ground and started running towards the pit where Misti was going. She was participating in the long jump while Chhutku was trying his hands on with Cricket shots in other side of the field. I barely stood there for few minutes watching Misti and she came towards me, “Now I will have to wait for my 2^nd and 3^rd chance. You go to Chhutku if he needs you. Don’t worry, I don’t want anything for drink or snack’.”

I ran towards Pit No 4 in bare feet gasping for breath and moment I reached there, the event came to close. With Chhutku and his group, I walked (ran) to Pit no 6 and hardy took few breaths while watching Chhutku throwing the javelin and he whispered, “Ma, give me some juice and go to Babu in case she needs water.” I grabbed my bags and ran to other pit on the other side of the pit where Misti was practicing basket ball. “Ma, how is Chhutku doing? Give me some water, no lemonade please and I don’t mind if you wish to go and stand with Chhutku,” Misti said so lovingly. Another 100 meter sprint for me…….

……and this continued till the day ended with Misti’s house securing the first position while Chhutku’s house came second. What a day! “Kids, now I need a break and some rest too. My legs are aching badly and I am very hungry after day-long sprinting across the field umpteen numbers of times,” I almost collapsed and sat on the grass in the field. “Ma where have you kept your sandals?,” asked Misti with so much of concern.

“I don’t remember, baby. Never mind, I will walk bare feet but I have no energy to search for it now,” I somehow managed to utter. Chhutku (the one who does not walk a step if not pushed) said so caringly,”Misti, You give her some biscuits and lemonade and I am going to search for her sandals”

….He came within few minutes with my sandals dangling in his hands and we headed towards the cafeteria with my two children by my sides as we were in no mood to eat those leftover biscuits, juices and stale-smelling lemonade. Once we had rested and were no longer starving, the brain gradually returned to “function” mode and we decided to call up Dubai Taxi to be transported to home. As now the brain was in fully functional mode, it came to my mind in a flash that so far, except deciding on the list of snack and drink, their Dadda had not contributed in any ways to this ‘Oh-so-important” event of the kids.

…..and I wasted no time in shooting  an sms that we were thoroughly exhausted after so much of active sports to call a taxi and that it was his moral responsibility at least to come to school, pick us up  and drop home! Emotional blackmail always works and he obliged.

Once back home, I threw myself on the sofa straightway in the drawing room itself as if I was a dead warrior and fell asleep within minutes! That day, I had to take off from kitchen duty also as I earned this right after such flawless execution of motherly duty! A hot-water footbath followed after some lovely Biriyani and kebabs (home delivered by Handi, a favorite eatery joint of mine and it was complimentary from my husband’s side!). I retired finally calling it a day!!

Even though I woke up with sore legs the next day, I had few reasons to feel very happy about. Firstly, contrary to my perception, the brother-sister duo showed that they cared for each other and both wanted their Ma to take care of the other and watch the other perform, even if it meant that I had to cris-cross the field so many times! How sweet and generous on their part!! Secondly, even if they were tired and exhausted, they took care of their Ma in the best possible way! Shouldn’t I be proud of my little ones and lastly, as it was too much of exercise the previous day, I could merrily take off from Studio Fitness and enjoyed random TV serials over left-over biriyani and kebabs!! 

The count-down for the next Sports Day has already begun and Chhutku has started negotiating hard that the list of snack must include chicken pizza next time!!

The Black Berry spill-over

“I sent in invitation and you did not accept that, Minakshi ma’m”, complained one of my very close friends over phone.

“But I have not received any invitation from you, Sunita. …and by the way, what was the occasion? Anyways, I would not have been able to go to attend the function. So…. ”, I tried to cheer her up.

I only have known of invitations for some celebrations or occasions so far in my life. She snapped me in between my sentences with giggle,” Ma’m, it was in BB and not for any function”.

BB? What on earth is that? After such long trial and tribulations, I now connect with friends through FB but never heard of BB. Generally, I prefer to avoid acronyms and love to say the full word or phrase or sentence while writing or speaking. So I was obviously not aware of the acronym “BB”.

Another round of giggle from her side and she clarified with pity that BB stands for Black Berry.

Yes, I do possess a black berry but what connection does that Blackberry have with sending some invitation? I was still not clear and she took the hint to explain in detail that I can use my Blackberry to chat on real-time  basis or send photographs quickly or access to my e-mail account or browse through my FB account and so on…..

Wow, so many possibilities and I did not know that! Actually, very reluctantly, I accepted that Black Berry from my husband as I am a person who is not particularly very fond of accessories and a simple Nokia phone had been working perfectly fine for me. Secondly, there was no pressing need that e-mails were to be sent every now and then as I currently enjoy the new-found status of “full-time Housewife”. Thirdly and most importantly, I have phobia for complicated electronic gadgets.

Even the need to connect through BB to friends was not urgent but suddenly and surprisingly, I felt intrigued and I had that urge to know more about the possibilities. The moment I mentioned this to my husband, the initiation process started immediately (cooking for dinner could wait!) and my I-know-all eight-year old son also chipped in to throw in some piece of knowledge intermittently about how to use Blackberry effectively. (I must say, my little one has amazing knack for modern-day electronic gadgets)

After a crash course of few hours, I learnt how to send invitations to others to connect, how to accept invitations from others, how to upload pictures, how to chat, how to create profile ,sending e-mails or browsing FB account etc and voila, it is fun! (I do not know how to ping, though).

Equipped with such knowledge and a blackberry with international roaming facility, I went for winter vacation to my parents’ place with the kids this last December. Now that I can take picture and show it to friends immediately, I clicked unlimited number of pictures of my village and uploaded immediately to showcase my skill and in the process, my beautiful small village earned few praises! My children also wanted to wield the magic wand in front of their friends in the village and wanted them to listen to songs from You tube as many times and as many songs the friends requested(villages are no longer untouched by bollywood shockwaves but blackberry is still unheard of).

To make things worse, Chhutku had been completely consumed by the ‘Kolaveri – D’ effect and listened to it umpteen number of times to ward off boredom as Youtube.com was only a button away. Misti is just in the threshold of age when Justin Biber comes in dreams and songs sung by him were played a decent number of times!!

….and then tragedy struck! An sms from DU shook me up from this bliss one fine morning which said that my post-paid limit had been reached and the over-due amount was blinking at whopping and shocking AED 1727. Outgoing sms-es were not being delivered and outgoing calls were not allowed!!

Oh, my God, how is this possible? I made only a few phone calls from my ‘blackberry’ quite cautiously as I knew that International roaming was expensive – was my first reaction. Even after so frequent (and sometimes call duration is obnoxious when I speak to close friends to give them detail of my new shopping, haircut, Dubai  sales, beach scene etc) calls to friends and relatives, the bill of usage of mobile has never reached beyond AED 500!! I actually took few long breadths to come back to normal heartbeats and with lot of hesitation sent an SOS to my husband.

An epitome of generosity (I mean that), he called up to assure me that an online payment had been made and I should enjoy the balance days of stay with parents without worrying about mobile bills. Even then, I was continuously trying to find a reason for such heavy-duty usage and DU only solved the mystery through another SMS informing me that now the charges for accessing internet while on international roaming has been slashed.

In a flash, I got the clue – accessing the You tube, the FB ,come under the phase “internet access” and does not come free of cost even if I possess a “black berry” and it becomes doubly expensive when on International roaming.

 If only I knew this vital piece of information …….! But am I to be blamed for this ignorance? My husband and son (partly), who initiated me to this “blackberry” addiction, should have told me as a part of lessons! How irresponsible!! Since husband was away, I sent him a “BBM” holding him responsible for this damage (well, I still do not know whether BBM is free service or a paid one!).

Poor husband! He first had to bear the damage financially and now this accusation from the wife!

Children were instructed strictly to stay away from You Tube and I have not pressed the FB icon once, even mistakenly during the balance days of stay (except few BBM to my dear Husband). The pictures that were taken after the fiasco were uploaded once I came back to Dubai.

….and here comes my confession – I missed the fun of staying connected to FB or through BBM during those few days, folks!! Some addictions are bad for physical health and some addictions are bad for financial health - who understands that better than me ? 

Learning something new.........

Learning a new language is quite daunting especially when we all know that learning ability decreases proportionately with age.  We are dogged by apprehensions like ‘will I be able to make it?” or “will I be able to hang on there if I cannot do it quickly?” or “what will the instructor be thinking of me if I make too many mistakes?” and so on.  These apprehensions are quite normal I guess for anyone who starts to learn anything new.  But the excitement of learning something new counters a major part of those fears of unknown.

When we moved to Dubai two years back, we were told that Arabic was compulsory for children in the curriculum of the local schools and my ‘panic button’ was switched on automatically.  My children would have to learn the language from scratch.  I presumed it would be more difficult for them as they missed Year 1 and Year 2 and I nagged my husband relentlessly as to how they would cope with it without knowing the foundation / basics.  To add to my misery, the father and the children were unfazed about the severity of the challenge!  

I was feeling more helpless as the language was unknown to me and there would not be any assistance from my side in case they encountered any difficulty while learning Arabic but I probably underestimated the steepness of the ‘learning curve’ of children.

The children started their school and to my complete surprise, they were not complaining on how difficult it was to read and write Arabic.  The ‘mother ‘in me started panicking again.  “Are they learning something at all or not?” and I decided to seek an appointment with the Arabic Teacher which she obligingly gave.

Just before the appointed date of meeting, I discovered a circular in my daughter’s school folder regarding an “Arabic Workshop for Non-Arab Parents” and the circular carried an underlined statement at the end ‘Seats are limited and will be allotted on First Come, First Serve basis”.

Driven by the fear that all the offered seats might be taken by proactive parents, I immediately  logged on to my laptop, and completed the On-line Registration Form.  No delays at all in order to be one amongst the few fortunate ones!  This was quite unlikely of me as I am infamous in my family for deferring things till the last date but when you are a worried mother, you don’t mind to walk the extra mile for the well-being of the children!

I wanted to surprise my children and husband with my new found skill in speaking & writing Arabic and hence, kept quiet about the workshop.  On the first day, I got ready right after seeing off my children to school and tried my level best to not to look like a harried student but a ‘fashionable smart mom’!  The dilemma of whether to carry a notebook and pen was decided in favor of not taking one for few reasons:

Firstly, that might look too student –ish and could blow a dent in my “smart & fashionable mom” status.  Secondly, getting dressed for the occasion took too long and left little time to dig around the house for a pen and note book.  Thirdly, I was too lazy to dig out a pen from somewhere in the house.  Lastly, I was a very smart and confident mom, very trusting in my memorizing capability.

The teacher was really sweet and helpful.  On the first day, she only wanted us to have a visual familiarity with the alphabets and taught us few very common Arabic words.  A one and half hour session of learning Arabic was reason enough to settle down for a cup of coffee at the school cafeteria.  I came home very happy and satisfied that now I would be able to help my children in their Arabic lessons , if needed.  

When the children came home in the afternoon, it was time to throw a grand surprise at them that ‘Mama can also speak Arabic’.  Out of excitement, I forgot how to greet in Arabic (I was too smart not to carry a notebook and pen) and my ‘memorizing ability’ let me down badly.  I learnt my primary lesson of learning something new:   

With age, brain also ages and storage capacity reduces drastically.  Must carry a pen and notebook everywhere henceforth.

Anticipating that my son would be eating rice with a fried egg, I called out to him from the kitchen, ”Chhutu, shall I fry one Haleeb for you?”.  Both the children sprang up on the sofa and exclaimed in unison, “What? How can you have one Haleeb and how can you fry it?”  “Oh, God, failure of memory for the second time! What was word for egg in Arabic?”, I I tried in vain to recollect !

I was nervous to the hilt and red-faced with embarrassment.  I did not have the notebook to refer…….

I took my second lesson of learning something new:

Never be over-confident. There is no harm in cross-checking from people who know better.

When I showed them the egg, they immediately screamed, “its Bythe and not Haleeb, Mama.  Where from did you get these words?”

I had no other option but to tell them the truth and the brother-sister duo giggled and laughed and rolled on the carpet with amusement,” Oh, Mama, even we can teach you Arabic.  You don’t need to go to school….and then you are saying everything wrong”.

The next moment, they started rattling out the alphabets, the common words for daily use, the action verbs, and few sentences to my utter surprise!! I took my third lesson on learning something new:

A teacher does not have any age, so what, if they are your children.

The whole incident was narrated to their dad with lots of animation and he also chipped in with his suggestion of how to learn the language quickly and correctly.  

So he handed out few CDs and a book on Arabic, gave me a pen and notebook to practice and whole thing seemed no less than ‘a student learning for examination’.  

After coming back from school and office, the three ‘proficient in Arabic’ teachers of mine started testing my day’s learning verbally and in writing and the pressure to prove myself started building up within me unknowingly.

I decided to quit … I took my fourth lesson in learning something new:

You might have been a good student in many subjects in younger days but the status of ‘good student’ is not permanent.  Must learn to accept that different persons have different ability.

I must say that my children and husband are certainly more able than me in picking up a new language.

As I am now confident that kids are learning the language with proficiency under the sincere care of their teacher, I can allow my mental faculties to rest safely.  I am very happy that I know how to greet and say ‘good bye’ in Arabic and occasionally take lessons from children without the precondition that I have to apply them at appropriate time.

I took my last lesson in learning something new:

You will never learn something until and unless, the learning is mandatory for your survival

The day the Government of UAE makes Arabic compulsory everywhere in the country, I will start learning and certainly carry a pen and notebook for class.  Till then, I can concentrate on many things in which I feel myself more capable.

A last note before I close today…..

During Eid-Al-Adha Holidays, we had been to Al Ain for vacation and me and my children went to the Zoo.  While watching the bird show, the host, a young Emirati with a wonderful sense of humor was explaining that ‘owl’ can fly silently during nights.  He was first explaining in English and then in Arabic and followed the sequence throughout except once.

While one of the ‘bird trainers’ made an owl fly over the seated audience, the host broke this sequence and first asked something in Arabic. I yelled, “Yes, Yes” without understanding what he said.

My daughter sitting in front of me gave me a grave look and said coldly, “Mama, stop screaming ‘yes, yes.  Did you understand what he asked?”

She was visibly embarrassed.  I nervously asked,” Well, no, what did he ask by the way?”

“He is asking whether you could hear anything when the owl flew over you.  So you should say “La La” as he mentioned owl is the silent flier”, she explained, distraught fully.

Now when the host asked the same question in English, I understood this time and screamed, ”La La”. My daughter looked at me with a puzzled face,” Now why are you saying 'La La'.  You can say ‘No’ as he is asking in English. “

 “Oh, so ‘La La’ is the Arabic word for ‘no’, Babu”, I nagged her.

“Thank God, finally you learnt some Arabic, Mama. Don’t forget, ok”’, she warned.

Remembering ‘La la’ is not so difficult for the sake of making my daughter proud that she taught her mom ‘some Arabic’.  With lot of practice, even at this age, I can remember that for sure!!

....and hence I have been saying ‘la la’ too many times a day these days!

So, to each of you , young and old - Happy Learning!!

Being mother of a boy and girl.......

That I would establish myself as a ‘very successful career woman ‘was never on my priorities which was quite unusual given the fact that I worked really hard all those years of my student life to score a ‘perfect ten’ and I became majorly successful in writing an enviable resume with all the gems that I earned with my hard work and diligence. Being a full time house wife was also not in my agenda, though and I decided on my priorities very clearly long before entering into matrimonial ‘bliss’. As per my list of priorities, post marriage, I wanted to be a mother most of the time and thought of ‘doing something’ to keep myself ‘meaningfully engaged’ so that balancing ‘work and home’ does not take a toll on my children’s well being!

Although there was nothing against boys, I always wanted a girl to call me’ Ma’ first and when I was expecting my first child, my imagination was full with all those lovely frocks and dresses, barbies and kitchen sets, hair bands and clips. May be, because I wanted the girl so earnestly, I was granted the wish and a ‘pretty as picture’ princess was born to me in January 2002. I plunged into full time motherhood straight on taking a break from my ‘meaningful engagement’. There was not a single moment when I had to regret my decision of taking a break as my princess was quite a handful.

As soon as her body clock was set to routine, she ate and drank whatever I had given her and slept whenever she felt like. I never quite believed the mothers who said that they had to be up and awake the entire night to feed the baby or putting him/her to sleep! Ever since she started speaking, we mother-daughter ran into endless conversations the entire day and slept like hogs during the night. She learnt to keep herself busy with her toys, dolls, kitchen sets, crayons, drawing books and things like that from an early age giving me enough opportunity to catch up with my things. I didn’t even realise when she turned two and started her pre-school.

She is as sweet as her name goes ‘Misti’.

 Around that time, we decided to bring a companion for Misti and this time, it was a boy to complete the family. Misti was over the moon when she first saw her brother in the hospital even though she was barely two years old at that time!

Ah, our peaceful world went into a frantic frenzy from day one when Chhutku was born. He invaded into Misti’s world like mercenary with all his wailing, whining, erratic sleeping schedules, and distinct taste for spicy food!  I was going crazy by the day with all his tantrums and nights were nightmarish as he would not allow me to rest for 15 minutes at a stretch during nights till he was about 3 – 3 ½. Misti did all the adjustments whenever needed without even being asked to do that but she would never complain! As if that was not enough for a responsible big sister, she would put an all-out effort to play with her brother so that Mimia (she used to call me mimia when she was small) could catch a few winks after lunch. She is my adorable ‘big princess’ now.

On every parent – teacher meeting in Misti’s school, the teachers unanimously agreed that she was a child far mature than her age, caring and accommodating to everyone in the class and outside and she was a ‘teacher’s pet’ in true sense of the term. Certificates and medals, academic and extracurricular, filled a whole drawer and she added to my pride each passing day! When she shifted to Wellington in Dubai, the first parent-teacher meeting that I attended, the teacher started,” Poushali  (her good name) is a rare gem, Mrs. Ray” and my pride knew no bound ! She achieved the “best learner medal” this year and sometimes, I do not hesitate to seek her opinion when I cannot decide on something serious……. She is only 10 and already a ‘friend, philosopher and guide’ to me. Can any mother ask for more than this?  

And here comes my little devil – Chhutku. He settled down gradually and started his pre-school but was more interested in the variety in his lunch box rather than learning his alphabets. He finds out weird tricks to drive all of us insane even now. When he started going to regular school (same school as his sister’s), all teachers commented, “Divit is very intelligent but very restless as well. Mrs. Ray, he loves to talk with so much expression and we love that!” and surprisingly enough, he was the favorite amongst teachers and classmates for his innocence, simplicity, lack of maturity and honesty. He became a member of the ‘dramatics club’ for his ability to ‘talk with expression ‘and the ‘drummer’ of the junior choir of his school and without him, there would not be any cultural activity in school. He also earned quite a few numbers of certificates from school for various achievements and I am certainly proud of whatever he is.  He has started Yr 3 at Wellington with a bang this year with a determination to earn the ‘best learner medal’! All the best my little pumpkin – you can do that!

Now that he is going to be eight very soon, his sleeping habits have changed drastically on the opposite direction – he would not wake up for school unless he is splashed with cold water, almost! He will fight tooth and nail with his sister for a piece of crayon, sometimes, but will seek protection from his sister when he needs to settle score with his enemies. Had his sister not been so blessed with sanity and maturity, there would have been blood-shed everyday in the school, or bus, or park or playground probably!! Misti can win any battle out with her word power, clipped accent and measured expression but at the hour of need, Chhutku will only let his tear duct open and after few moments of helplessness, will let his limbs loose!

As a mother, I know he is gem of a boy  but with only one short-coming that he cannot hide his emotions – his sadness ( he will cry his heart out in front of whole class if hurt), his joy ( will give you few hugs and kisses when happy even if you don’t like it), his anger ( will punch you straight on your face if you irritate him for no reason),  his frustration (will use those bad words ,the big brothers at school use , to my horror ) and he knows no pretence! I am worried that there are very few people in this world who would value his innocence, honesty and simplicity and does emotion have any place in this era of machines (human or otherwise)? He would be a total mis-fit in this big, bad world if he does not learn to hide his emotions and be mentally strong.

He is equally adorable with all his naughtiness, wittiness and frequent “you are the best Mum” anecdotes and is quite popular outside home for being responsible, sharing and caring, much to my amusement. May be, with time, he would adapt to the requirements of ‘survival of the fittest’.

…….but he must know that his Mum will always be there for him, if he needs a shoulder to cry on or he needs someone to listen to him when no one has time for him or for all those hugs and kisses which might embarrass others…..

A rare gem that he is…….

On a lighter note, dealing with his emotional outbreak is still easier for me but when he asks me,” mum what kind of engine does a Lamborghini have?” or “ Mum can we connect our PSP to the TV?”, or “ Mum, what is an i-pad or i-pod or i-phone?” – I draw a blank face. After several of such occasions, he now does not wait for me to fumble for answer rather he initiates search in Google and explain things to me with so much sincerity and authority! Machines of any kind fascinate him so much that all his electronic toys are dis-functional because he wanted to explore the mechanism but could not re-fix after that!!

But I trust him completely in matters related to machines and techniques, be it putting cells in TV remote or fixing the screw of my pressure cooker handle. After all to make a name in the field of engineering, he must be given enough opportunity for on-the-job training……..

While Chhutku would happily settle for ‘biriyani’ or ‘chicken tikka’ or ‘palak paneer’ from any restaurant in the city, Misti would prefer to have ‘lunch at Hilton or Movenpick’ occasionally ,even though , she would not express her wish vocally. She is elegant, subtle and sensible where as the little one is simple, vocal and sensitive! Is not God great for balancing the flavors when He decided to make me mother of two – a boy and a girl?

….and so even if they are way apart in their attitude and attributes, and there are moments of crisis dealing with the ‘sensitive’ one and the ‘sensible’ one, my days and some parts of nights ,are full with laughter, tear, fist fights, and loads of hugs and kisses .

Sometimes, I wonder how children of same set of parents can be so different in attributes but whatever be the fact, in my world, there is no sunshine without my Princess and the Devil!!

Dilemma of a teacher

I was never trained to be a teacher; rather I was trained to be an auditor in the last phase of my academic career.  I started my career as a practicing auditor right after qualifying the CPA examination and was adequately warned by my seniors that the profession needed a great degree of honesty, integrity and dedication towards the job.  After all, the auditors and only the auditors were trusted with the duty of presenting the ‘true and fair ‘view of the financial affairs of the corporates owned by general public of the country.

Even though I started my Auditor’s career very enthusiastically, I realized in no time that I was not meant for this.  I was reminded frequently by my senior that an auditor must have senses like a sniffer dog in a sense that we must be able to ‘smell’ fraud without actually looking into the books and accounts and that I must look for evidence even in dustbins in the bathroom for probable irregularities. The idea of sniffing all the time and sieving through dustbin wastes for evidence was not appealing at all. Even though, almost all sniffer dogs ( I mean, auditors) I came across during my stint at the job were fat and well- fed, I decided to quit and settle in a job more suited to a lesser mortal like me.

I joined a corporate house right after marriage and was put under probation under an MBA (Finance).  I started off with all sincerity and dedication.  It was clear within a month that I terribly lack in matters of “organizational behavior” as we, Chartered Accountants never study the subject ‘OB’ but MBAs do.  My supervisor had a clear advantage in that.  As I was accumulating quite a few praises from the Executive Director for my clarity of thought, I was ruffling few feathers of my supervisor unknowingly.  On a particular day when I disagreed openly on some points (which were quite ridiculous) made by him and narrated the episode to my husband back at home, he smiled and said, “Start looking for another job as your days are numbered and you are not going to survive the performance appraisal”.  He could not have been more right.  Coexistence of a know-all MBA (Finance) and a proud-of-lineage Chartered Accountant was impossible and I had to bring my corporate career to an abrupt end.

 As I was gearing up for another round of job-hunt, God smiled at me and I was spared the trouble of going through few rounds of interviews to prove my suitability to prospective employers …… I was on my way to motherhood!! In a span of two years, I became mother of a princess and a devil-in-disguise. Amid flurry of activities day in and day out, I completely forgot that I once qualified one of the toughest professional examinations in my first attempt!  Honestly speaking, those five years of child-rearing were physically taxing and mentally stressful and I lost all connection with professional developments in my field.

After a sabbatical of five years, I took out a print of my CV to be circulated amongst prospective employers but employers were convinced beyond doubt that a mother of two young children could never be a responsible employee…..my candidature was never considered even though academically ,in many places, I was the best candidate.  But isn’t it a proven fact that everything happens at the right time?

For me, the right time arrived without any hint and voila! I was hired by a National Federation as their Finance Controller before I realized even.  The job was my last chance to prove a myth to be wrong that mothers can also be responsible employees. My sincerity, hard work, dedication and determination compelled the Management to extend my part-time appointment to  a full-time one with additional responsibility of teaching’ business finance’ in the Hospitality Management Institute run by the Federation.  Little did I know, that this would be a turning point in my professional career…….

The students accepted me with open arms in their innocent but mischievous world and I became their mentor, friend and mom at once and probably for the first time, I liked something so much as a profession.  As I started contemplating taking teaching on a full-time basis, the students only made my decision making easier when I was voted the “Best Teacher of the Year”.  I was overwhelmed with emotion and decided to leave a well- paid corporate job to be a Teacher with all earnestness.

I accepted an offer to teach Finance in a Business School and assumed the responsibility of making them fit for the big bad corporate world. The responsibility left me sleepless at times.  I never boasted to my students that I knew all and they came back to me for an answer later if something was unknown to me.  Such was the understanding! Each day was new as students in a classroom are the most unpredictable lot but I took every challenge to my stride…… was this all about the job? Not to the least bit as there had not been a single day when I did not yell at them for not being disciplined or when I did not scream at them for neglecting their studies or when I did not boycott them for not doing their assignment.

To make life worse, at those moments of heightened tension, some of them giggled or some of them came up with weirdest excuses to drive me insane.  Life became similar to nightmares when I took charge of “Placement”.  I even forgot to wish my husband on his birthday as I was immersed in placement activities; I did not have time even to look at my children’s homework after a hard day and so on…

  ….but their faces full with expectation, kept me going with all sincerity.  I might not have been able to place them in places of their choice but I know for myself that I tried my level best to see them through during the most crucial juncture of their precious lives.  All pain come with rewards and here also, my rewards are more than adequate:

I have a hotelier student in Chennai who promised me “stay free of any charge as long as I wish” in his father’s hotel as I helped him draw up a budget during his internship in London on long distance phone call at 2 o clock at night.

 On an occasion, when I had to rush to my daughters’ school as she suddenly fell ill, five of them escorted me to the school just in case any help was needed.

As they knew very well that my husband travels extensively, they demanded that they be gifted Swiss chocolates whenever ‘Sir’ travelled to Switzerland.  I kept my promise and all of them stood ever ready for even my grocery shopping!

We cried together when Kumud,a dear student  lost her mother and my students insisted that if I could go and sit by her side for few moments, maybe she would be able to gather herself to continue with life! Such was their trust and faith in me!!

Is it comparable with any material reward I might have acquired in my corporate job someday? I guess not.

Someone honored me with the responsibility of convincing his girlfriend’s father about his suitability as he believed only I could do this….

We decided to celebrate “Basant Panchami” at my place and a troop of 25 young lion cubs descended at my house frightening the neighbors in the housing complex where I resided.  They invaded my kitchen, drawing room and terrace without hesitation and cleaned the house before leaving so that I could sleep without worrying about cleaning the next day.  We could only manage Khhichdi, pakora, and chutney but they polished off the last grain with so much appreciation!! Before leaving, all of them touched my feet and said,” You are more than our teacher to us and we all know that you will always be there for us.”

They glorified my existence!

 Animesh, Piyush, Nitin were the first critics of my blog and their encouragement and appreciation motivated me to write, my Masters Degree midterm exam notwithstanding..

On my farewell day, Khusboo, Navita, Esha, cried inconsolably uncertain about their placement.  Shikha called me early morning when we were leaving for the airport and was upset that she could not say “bye” to me the previous day.

Devesh was sad that I did not include 'my students' in the list of precious gems I possess! (All of you , are, indeed precious gems)

One student’s father confided in me about some psychological problem of his son and was certain that I might be able to help him out as I was his favorite teacher.

 So much of trust, love, affection, faith are my “extra earnings” and I have the privilege to keep them safe for years. All these compensated more than adequately any material losses that I might have accepted in terms of less remuneration compared to a corporate job. ….. but do I regret my decision? Not at the least bit and I will remain a teacher if ever I go back to work somewhere.

Dilemma arose when I started receiving invitation to be ‘friend’ on Face Book from my students. 

Should I or shouldn’t I accept?

Would that not be an invasion on my personal space? So I left them alone without accepting or ignoring the invites completely…..thinking that they could always e-mail or sms or call if they wanted to convey anything personal to me and vice versa? Was the student-teacher relationship to last for only two years that they were under my supervision in my class? What if anyone needed my advice or assistance, just in case, in their professional career?  What if someone needed to share anything that he/she could not have been able to do with anyone else?  What if they needed guidance even if they are now settled in their respective jobs?    

Just in case, they need my help, will they be in a position to call me or sms me at their discretion now that I am in a distant land?

I should assure them that I am always there for them for the rest of their lives wherever I am and whatever may be their dilemma.

I opened the door for them and accepted all FB invitations from all of them!

I am always there for you all, all my students!! I owe part of my existence to you all, my dear children!!