That bug is here again which nags me at regular interval
throughout the year –“ I want to go home”!
I am about to complete my fifth year in Dubai in few more
days and I consider this as a fairly long stay to fall in love with this
beautiful city. I wouldn’t deny that I love the city but still, after such a long
stay and even with all its glitz, glamour and flamboyance, the city has not been
successfully able to take me under its magic spell completely. The heart aches
naggingly for that small confine in Greater Noida, for that muddy road in my
village, for that small apartment crammed with stuff, useful or un-useful in
Lucknow….
During childhood or during my growing-up years, I have not
travelled much except the yearly visit to my maternal grandparents’ place in
the nearby town. I have not travelled much even after marriage – firstly, the
children were small and I was too apprehensive if at all I would enjoy a
vacation while managing an infant and a toddler and secondly, financial
resources were not in abundance to splurge on an exotic vacation. While the
husband globe-trotted throughout the year on professional assignments, travelling
to Lucknow or to my village was the only itinerary for us during holidays.
Situations changed for good with passage of time. Children
grew up, cash flow improved and we were travel-ready or rather vacation-ready. Just
about when we were planning a trip to a nearby hill station during the next
holiday, Dubai happened to us! On a notice of three months, belongings were
packed in cartons and shipped and we took the flight to Dubai on a cold January
morning. It was “to begin all over again”. Needless to say, it took a while to
settle down in this new place, physically and emotionally!
After five long years, even though I am physically
well-settled ( a decent home, a family car in the garage, a kitchen full of cooking
gadgets, crockery and cutlery, stack
full of cook books and novels in the study room, few good friends to “chill
with” during weekends , children in a good school and recently, a dog too),
emotionally I still find myself struggling to get adjusted to this new
arrangement - parents and Ma-in-law no longer can catch the train at their
convenience to travel to Delhi to stay with us four times a year and I feel
very sad for them; I cannot hop onto Shatabdi Express to Lucknow whenever there
is a four -day break and I feel sad for that; since there is no puja vacation
in Dubai schools, I cannot go home to be with my gang of cousins, aunts and
uncles during my most favorite festival that is Durga Puja and I feel sad for
that. The list goes on………
……and hence, vacation to me now means “going home” at every
opportunity and I refuse to go to any place else. People say travelling to new
places enriches the vision, broadens the mindset and expands the knowledge base
making one superior to the less-travelled. Going by that measuring stick, I
will possibly die with a very inferior vision, a very restricted mindset and a very
narrow knowledge base if status quo remains the same for few more years but I
will still die as a very happy and satisfied soul as I will carry in my heart
few beautiful feelings when I die…….
.……I will never know how it feels to be standing in front of
an imposing mountain range in some parts of the world and be awe-struck by its
enormity. Those mighty mountains will never shed their self-importance and tell
me, “Come back soon” when my visit is over. …. But I will always know how beautiful
it feels when each one of my friends , neighbors and acquaintances in Greater Noida hugs me tight and whispers chokingly
with tears in their eyes, “Come back
soon. We miss you so much” when I prepare to come back to Dubai after the
vacation.
….. I will never know how beautiful it feels to be taking a
walk in a moonlit night in a pristine beach with a boundless ocean in front of
my eyes and to be surrounded with unearthly tranquility, in some parts of the
world. The golden sands of those beaches or the blue waters of those oceans
will never care enough to preserve my footsteps as a memoir that I paid a visit
to them …….but I will always know how beautiful it feels when my mom-in-law
tells me with tears in her eyes, “I will keep everything as it is in your room
till you come back again. That will give me a feeling that you all are here
with me”.
……I will never know how it beautiful it feels to be watching
a spectacular sunrise or sunset in some exotic location in some parts of the
world. That rising sun or the setting sun, with all its glory, will never keep
a count of how many more mornings or evenings I will be there to appreciate
that splendor……but I will always know how beautiful it feels when my dad keeps
a count of my stay with each sun-rise or sun-set and tells me with a hint of
gloom,” Four more days and the house will feel empty again.”
…… I will never know how it feels to be wandering in the
roads of cities around the world with rich historical past. Those roads or
those cities will never bother to come out of their glorious past to appreciate
the fact that I visited them…….but I will always know how beautiful it feels
when I visit my favorite market place after years, either in Greater Noida or
in Lucknow and the snack vendor comes running to me,” Didi, do you recognize
me? Where had you been all these years? Have some pani puri”
……I will never know how it feels to be sampling local
cuisine sitting in a road side eatery in a distant land or how it tastes but I
will always know how heavenly it tastes and how beautiful it feels to eat to my
heart’s content “rajma chawal” from the kitchen of my motherly neighbor,
curry-chawal from Sunita’s kitchen, chilli chicken from Madhumita’s kitchen,
Masala bhindi from Swati’s kitchen, chicken biriyani from Shampa’s kitchen, aam
ka achar from Chetna’s kitchen, egg curry from Ma in Lucknow or fish curry from
Ma’s kitchen in Gonpur .
Those mountains, those oceans, those beaches, those
historical cities will all be there for eternity (at least they will survive till
I die!). Uncertainty being the essence of life, who knows if I will get the
next opportunity to be with my loved ones to share some laugh with them , to
hug them one last time or to share my grief or joy with them!
I don't care if the world does not remember me when I die as someone who travelled extensively gathering precious knowledge! What matters to me most is the fact that few people will keep me alive in their memories when I die. Hence my suitcases are out from under the bed and dusted off, my
shopping list for my dear ones is ready and I am vacation-ready. I will take
the flight after few more days to one of the most exotic places on earth –
Greater Noida and come back with plenty of memories to sustain myself till the
next vacation.
Have a happy winter holiday, friends and do make it a point
to reserve few vacations for your loved ones!
